Dear husband: The Person You Married Is Long Gone!

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After 11 years of marriage and two kids, things change between husband and wife. And it’s not all bad – it’s just different.

Dear husband: The Person You Married Is Long Gone!

Dear husband,

I am sorry.

I’m sorry that you’ve been neglected for the last four-and-a-half years. I’m sorry that your needs are secondary. I assure you, you are still one of my top priorities – you just aren’t on the top of the list anymore.

I know that you have needs, wants, dreams, and desires. When I tell you that I want to be the one you lean on, I mean it. I know you are tired of my excuses of being tired, having a headache, or am already snoring when you snuggle up next to me.

Trust me, I wish I had the energy I had five years ago. Hell, I wish I had the energy I had two weeks ago when I washed, folded, and actually put away all 10 loads of laundry. Of course, you didn’t see that because I was letting you get some much needed sleep.

Marriage or business partnership?

I know that some days it feels like we have a business partnership. And you’re right. Some days – even weeks – feel that way. Know that I want better for our marriage, for us. Because together, we are damn good.

The problem is, my life, my brain, and my body are so wrapped up in being a mother to those little boys who look exactly like you. Even after they’re sound asleep and we’re sitting on the couch watching a movie, my brain is still in mother mode.

I’m thinking about tomorrow; I’m thinking about 10 years from now. I’m wondering if you have work clothes for tomorrow.

I’m worried about money, milestones, and milk. Do we have enough milk? I can’t turn off being a mum. It is who I am now. And it is physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting.

I couldn’t live this life without you

I don’t want you to think you aren’t as important as you once were. I couldn’t live this life without you and I wouldn’t want to, either. But the simple fact is, you’re an adult and you can do things for yourself.

You can vote, so you can make your own lunch. You are legally able to drive a car, so you can figure out how to make a doctor’s appointment.

When you come home from work you, unfortunately, are getting the worst version of me. I gave our children the best. A little secret: Sometimes, some days, there just isn’t a best version of me. There just isn’t.

I haven’t been taking care of me

I can’t worry about your health, the boys’ health, the pet’s health, and my health. Who do you think gets ignored? It’s not you. It’s not our children or our pets. When I say I don’t feel well, when I say I haven’t been sleeping, it’s because I haven’t been taking care of me.

Yes, you tell me to go to the doctor, to eat better, to drink more water, but I am my very last priority.

I know I need to change that and I’m not complaining. I’m explaining that when something has to give, because no one person can do it all, I am the thing that gives.

Mothers worry about many things.

I am a mother; therefore, I worry
I’m worried about your sleep apnea, your allergies, your knee spasms. I am worried about the rash Alex has, and the snotty nose that Ben suddenly started with. I am concerned about our dog’s ears and what it’s going to cost to take her to the vet.

While I’m thinking about it, I’m worried that the fish have too much algae in their tank and the water needs to be changed. I’ll just add that to the never-ending list of things I will feel guilty about when I am trying to sleep tonight.

I am not blaming you
None of this your fault. I am not blaming you, or wishing you were any different.

You do extraordinary things for our family. You work harder than any person I know. You care more about everyone, including me, than any other human I have ever met. I love you a little more each time I see you help someone knowing you will never get anything in return.

You are the kindest, most loving father to our children. There is a reason they cry when you leave for work. Yes, it stings a little but knowing that you are their role model in life fills me with love and pride.

I have changed and evolved
I am not the person you married 11 years ago. I have changed and evolved into a wife, mother, friend, and keeper of all schedules. I am a party planner and a personal shopper.

I am a chef specialising in chicken nuggets and pasta. I am a housekeeper that can’t keep a house. I am the cheerleader and the librarian. I am the night and the day nurse.

I wouldn’t change any of it. I don’t want any other life. I love you and I love the life that we created. But I am not the spontaneous, beer drinking, sexy bad girl you met way back when. I am a mother. And it is all of me.

Love always,

Your wife

A mom is facing serious backlash after she wrote into an advice column and asked if she should consider giving up her only son for her boyfriend. Keep reading to learn more!

Mom’s Fiancé Asks Her To Give Up The One Thing She Loves Once They Get Married. The Most Shocking Part? She Is Already Considering It

A mom is being slammed by parents around the world after she confessed that she fully plans on giving up her son once she gets married.

As The Sun reports, the mother, who goes by “Feeling Stuck,” wrote into the Dear Wendy column to ask for some advice regarding her predicament.

“I’m a 30-year-old divorcee with a son. I have joint custody with my ex-husband. My boyfriend, who is also divorced, has a daughter who is under the sole custody of his ex-wife. I only get to spend time with my son on alternate weekends and my boyfriend doesn’t see his daughter at all,” the woman begins.

The woman has reportedly been waiting for her boyfriend to propose for quite some time, so when he finally did, she was over the moon.

There’s just one catch: She must give up her son.

“My boyfriend already proposed to me, but, one month after proposing, he wants me to give up seeing my son,” the mom revealed.

As it turns out, Feeling Stuck’s greatest concern in giving up her only child involves her ailing parents, who absolutely adore their grandson.

“I did tell him that my parents want to spend time with my son too and they can only do that on the alternate weekends I see him. He told me that he wants to go overseas to work and meanwhile I can use this period to think about whether I want to give up my son for him,” she writes.

Shockingly enough, the mom is considering her fiancé’s offer and is even thinking about going through with a trial run.

“I have thought of giving up my son after we married, but how am I supposed to answer to my parents? My mother has depression and my father has cancer. I don’t want them to be sad knowing that they will lose a grandson,” the woman continues.

According to the mom, it has been apparent from the beginning that she would one day have to choose between her son and her boyfriend.

“My boyfriend told me when we started dating that he could not accept my son, and I know not all men can. I’m actually prepared to give up my son after marriage, but my boyfriend wants me to do it right now. I want to be with my boyfriend and yet I can’t bear to let my parents feel sad because of their illnesses. I also have a mother’s guilt in me because my son loves me so much. What should I do?” she concluded.

Unsurprisingly, Dear Wendy, as well as hundreds of other commenters on social media, were horrified that a mother would consider going through with such a horrifying plan.

“Shame on you. Are you so lonely and so desperate for a husband that you would cast away your own child? Apparently so. Please, please get yourself to therapy and figure out what the fuck is wrong with you that you would behave in such an appalling, disgraceful way. I’m not even touching on your parents. That you would use them and their illnesses as the main reason to maybe keep seeing your son occasionally speaks volumes. Get help,” Dear Wendy responded, in part.