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Mother Who Almost Starved Baby To Death Speaks Out
Having a baby places a huge responsibility on a parent. Baby cannot eat or move without your help and completely reliant on you to survive.
It’s something that does not come naturally to everyone immediately and there are they may be some complications after the birth of your child too.
As newborns can’t speak, there may be something wrong and there is no way for them to communicate the problem to parents.
For one Mom, who prefers to be named Mandy – her son couldn’t communicate the fact that he was starving, even though she was breastfeeding him constantly.
Naturally, she was incredibly concerned when her son wasn’t putting on any weight. The Mom was at a loss as to why he was starving and it eventually took numerous visits to doctors and paediatricians to diagnose what the problem was.
When her son was born, he weighed 6lbs 5oz and from the start, breastfeeding was difficult. She had flat nipples, meaning that her son couldn’t latch on properly and as a result, he was restless and unsettled. The hospital recommended she use a shield to aid her son’s latching, which did help for a short while.
One month in and her son hadn’t gain enough weight to be deemed healthy. She wrote a blog post for charity Fed Is Best, and said: “At his 1 month appointment he only weighed 6 pounds 5.5 ounces. He had only gained ½ of an ounce and his paediatrician suggested I talk to the lactation consultant. I went the next day to a group class, but the class was so large that I felt very overwhelmed and left early. I decided to go to the class offered at the hospital where he was born, where two of the nurses we had met would be teaching the class. The first thing they had me do was weigh him, feed him, and then weigh him again. When we weighed him after his hour-long feeding, the lactation consultant told me he had only eaten 20ml!”
A nurse suggested she incorporate formula when feeding her son, as well as a pumping schedule but to her confusion, her son was still restless when given breast milk. She wrote: “We continued the routine and he continued to grow and thrive, but my supply didn’t seem to be increasing, and he still seemed so restless while nursing. The restlessness turned into full on screaming after he nursed or drank a bottle of breast milk.”
Then the nurse suggested that she cut dairy out of her diet, in case her son was reacting to it.
Six weeks down the line, she met with her own doctors for a postpartum checkup: “She had experienced the same thing, so she sat down with me and went over things I could and couldn’t eat and what to look for on food labels. I also had a friend who did the same thing, so I followed her food plan, but he still would get so upset when he had any breast milk.”
At her wits’ end, she contacted her mother: “I was on the verge of a mental break down when she said, ‘he needs you to be healthy and sane far more than he needs breast milk.’ It was in that moment that I felt a little bit of weight lift off my shoulders. […] I was having a really hard time accepting it and was worried that she might push me to keep breastfeeding. Her beautiful response: ‘You’ve tried harder than 99% of the moms I’ve worked with to make breast feeding work, and it’s totally OK if you stop and exclusively formula feed.’”
The Mom then moved to a formula for her son, and suddenly saw a dramatic change in her baby’s behavior and he started gaining weight steadily.
Mandy’s story isn’t rare. Many new Moms struggle with breastfeeding, especially when there is a stigma around not breastfeeding your child. Perhaps her story will allow a little break for new mothers, and make the point that a baby’s health is the most important thing to worry about.
Cheryl Kelley-Black
February 12, 2017 at 7:46 pm
That is so sad. I can look at that baby and see he is malnourished
cheryl
February 28, 2017 at 3:31 am
My daughter had a hard time, her son didn’t want to open his mouth wide enough. We asked for a pump, she was feeling guilty, and wanted to make sure he was getting some. The hosp told us the only way the milk would come in was In breastfeeding. So she tried and nothing and she chose to formula feed. Later we remembered that when my 1st grandson was born he stayed in hospital for 2 weeks, and she had to pump and bring down to them. So they lied. Next time we are bringing our pump.
Angie DeKiere
February 12, 2017 at 8:04 pm
I had the same issue. My son was happy and content and everyone kept saying “your body knows it will produce what he needs”. So I thought everything was normal. Plus the pressure to breastfeed over formula is ridiculous!!!!
Jessica Taylor
February 12, 2017 at 8:14 pm
And that’s why fomula was made, for special/emergency situations. Glad she got help for herself and the sweet little boy.
Chloe Smith
February 12, 2017 at 11:44 pm
Formula for special and or emergency situations?! You are part of the problem. Fed is best. Formula or breastmilk. A fed baby is an alive baby.
Chloe Smith
February 12, 2017 at 11:44 pm
Formula for special and or emergency situations?! You are part of the problem. Fed is best. Formula or breastmilk. A fed baby is an alive baby.
Melissa Beth Jackson
February 12, 2017 at 8:15 pm
Good read!!
Nicole McCann
February 13, 2017 at 1:40 am
I agree !
Asiya Ossaili
February 12, 2017 at 8:36 pm
Shamira Isaiah
Jess Lorkin
February 12, 2017 at 8:45 pm
Very sad and true.
Sandra Perez-Rodriguez
February 12, 2017 at 9:40 pm
Juan Carlos Ruiz Martha Rodríguez como me pasó, la diferencia es que Gregorio si estuvo complementado desde antes
Jay Ber
February 12, 2017 at 9:46 pm
I would have been switched to formula feeding. I am glad that she was able to get him the nutrition that he needed.
Carrie Fields
February 12, 2017 at 10:05 pm
Pretty sure I have enough common sense to know not to starve a baby because I’m afraid that others will judge me for not breastfeeding. This story is ridiculous.
Cheryl Kelley-Black
February 12, 2017 at 10:09 pm
I have to agree there. I mean from that picture the baby looks very malnourished and sick. When my daughter was born and wouldn’t breastfeed I had to insist on formula. The nurses told me oh they don’t need much food…blah blah blah. But I could hear it in her cry that she was hungry. She drank over half one of those nursette bottles. Nurse said that’s a lot for a newborn. I was like, well she was hungry!
Nicole McCann
February 13, 2017 at 1:40 am
Your both ignorant morons and should just stfu!
Carrie Fields
February 13, 2017 at 4:29 am
It’s *You’re. Thanks for your super intelligent response. I’m so enlightened.
Kimberly Dawn Brown
February 13, 2017 at 5:35 am
New mom’s are often not told it’s ok to choose to formula feed when the breastfeeding isn’t going well. Much less supplement after nursing.
She tried everything and was determined. The professionals should have told her to supplement after nursing, or better yet, given her the advice her mother had.
I had three kids. Nursed two well over a year. Both had formula in the initial week waiting for the milk to come in. They were hungry and we used the tube system to encourage nursing.
My third, I also started off the same way. But ended up supplementing because my supply wasn’t the same that time. Plus I had a major hematoma that prevented me from side nursing at night which I know impacted the supply.
Ended up nursing only 7 months and was on formula fully by that point. Broke my heart. But I knew that he was content and thriving and it was what he wanted.
Shame on you for shaming this mother for trying her best and not wanting to give up.
Molly Mathis
February 13, 2017 at 12:12 am
It’s because we guilt moms if they can’t breastfeed like they’re some kind of failure. When your kid is an adult no one is gonna give AF if they were feed by breast or formula, just that they were fed.
Kristine Smith
February 13, 2017 at 12:46 am
Good read….breast is not always best. I tried too with my 6th daughter and she was left unwell and had lost a lot of weight. I was feeling that I failed. My beautiful sister in law convinced me to try her on formula. She thrived. Thats when I knew that the pressure of breast feeding was NOT the best for my baby. She is 12 now and a beautiful, intelligent and healthy young girl.
Chrysa Lynn Thompson
February 13, 2017 at 2:22 am
I ended up in emergency room with my daughter when she was 3 days old when she didn’t have any wet diapers after leaving hospital for over 24 hrs. When I called the nurse line they told me to keep breast feeding and not give bottle if I wanted to be successful with breastfeeding. She said it would confuse my baby.
I went to lactating consultations too.
I had to supplement with formula as my milk didn’t come in fully for 5 weeks after she was born.
If I listened to the nurses, I would have starved my daughter!
Nancy Fa'agata
February 13, 2017 at 4:59 am
Amy Kimmel
Linda
May 20, 2017 at 2:53 pm
My kids all needed formula supplementation. Baby #4 had a congenital heart defect and was too weak to nurse effectively. It would take him 2 hours to feed because he tireewas put on full formula at 3 weeks.