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This Mom Nails Why We Should Let Our Kids See Us Cry
At a certain age, most of us can’t exactly remember when, we realize that our Mothers aren’t some superhuman force, they are just people, like us.
Moms get frustrated, they have imperfections and experience heartbreak too. It’s completely natural to try and hide this from our kids, but one blogger believes that being able to show this emotion in front of them does them far more good than harm.
Constance Hall, a blogger and mother of (soon-to-be) 5 little ones, posted an emotional plea on her Facebook page this week to let our kids see us cry.
“Do you hide in the shower when you need to cry? Do you wipe your puffy face quickly and answer your kids with ‘no no mummy’s fine,’” she wrote. “I used to.. you know, you don’t want your kids to feel the insecurity of their rock breaking down.”
But Hall said during a particularly rough spot in her life, she cried a lot, and her children eventually saw her and consoled her while she “lied about being fine.”
She said she eventually got better, but her kids were changed because of it.
She said that her children told her recently that one of their teachers broke down in class. “Apparently all of the other teachers came to her aid while some of the students started making fun,” she wrote. “It got me thinking about how any of us handle raw emotion.”
She said that she was raised by a young, single Mom who taught her to not be fussed about saying the wrong thing.
“Just say something, go in for the hug, say your sorry, ask the questions, in a world where everyone is silent in the face of raw emotion just say something,” her mom told her. It’s so true.
Many of us worry whether we’ll say the wrong thing, if we’ll make a situation worse.
We are in our own heads so much that we often lose the opportunity to just be there for someone else.
To let them open up, have it out, and just be in the moment with them.
Hall has always been open about her life and her connection to others.
Whether its pleading for help around the house or why moms need to put ourselves first, the Mom never shies away from the raw emotion of things. And letting our kids see us in a vulnerable place, she said, is actually a gift to them.
“It occurred to me that I’ve never had a boyfriend who was comfortable to comfort me when I was distressed, even my current husband who is very emotionally mature backs away and shuts down when I cry,” she continued. “But on the weekend I watched a terribly sad documentary with my children and as tears were welling up in mine and my daughters eyes my son put his arms around us both, patting and rubbing our backs.”
She said it was then she realized her kids are perfectly fine with human emotion. They understand, she wrote, that “this is life.” That “people get hurt, people hurt people, mums have their limits and even teachers cry,” she said.
What people really need is compassion and a soft place to land.
“There is such comfort for a child knowing that their rock can break down, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t secure.”
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