5 Things My Husband Taught Me That Make Me a Happier Mama

4. Not explaining my nos.   And definitely not apologizing for them.  I sometimes feel pressure from my employers and my friends to join committees or teams or group or parties.  I used to try very hard to figure out a way to squeeze in whatever it was they suggested I become a part of.  After having kids, I felt the hours of the day becoming far too packed with responsibilities and commitments, many of which I wasn’t that interested in doing.  I saw how my husband easily said “no” and how this resulted in him having a much more laid back persona at home, while I was running around like a chicken with my head chopped off.  I wanted to enjoy being at home with him more, which pushed me to start saying no more often.  As it turns out, I haven’t felt any backlash and I’ve freed up more time to spend on what is important.

5. Taking a nap on the couch if I need it.  Even if the kids are in the room.  This one used to irk me, my husband would sometimes fall asleep on the couch when we were all in the living room together.  I would think to myself, What the heck? He just assumes it is my job to take care of the kids!  And then one particularly exhausting day I sat down and leaned my head back and my eyes practically shut themselves.  When I woke up about half an hour later my husband was playing with the kids and didn’t say a word, Turns out it was me holding myself back from the occasional afternoon snooze, and just like he assumed I would take care of the kids when he needed a break, I could also count on him to take care of the kids when I needed one. This was a pretty life-changing revelation.

Asking for what I want on the job.  As a working mom, time and energy is at a premium, so I want to make it worthwhile.  Instead of griping about what isn’t working or what I don’t like about my job, I’ve starting specifically asking for what I do want to make my work life more meaningful and more balanced.  And guess what?  Many times when I ask, I get.  As a result, this mama feels a little better about spending so many hours plugging away at work, since in the big scheme of things I find value in what I do and there is a lot about my job I love.

As much as it might pain me to admit that my husband was right, I’ll confess that some of the behaviors I exhibited in the past were making my life a little more complicated than it needed to be.  I’m grateful to my husband for teaching me by example some of his tricks for making life run a bit more smoothly.  It’s amazing how little tweaks in how we engage can make such a big difference in our overall well-being.

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