The mother looked tired. Bone-tired. Overwhelmed, frazzled, but mostly tired.
Viral: What ‘I’m Tired’ Really Means To A Mother
Certainly, she had to be. Accompanied her were four children, among which none were more than 10, with the smallest being the wailing newborn she carrying in her arms, obviously wanting anything but to be here in this trip to the grocery store.
Bouncing the newborn down the frozen food aisle and zoned out with a zombie-like sway, I knew in my heart, she spent years of sleepless night. YEARS. Lucky I was without the company of my kids, as they were much older and the effort I put in my baby time finally came to fruition. I walked to the weary mother and said, “You have a beautiful family! You’re doing great to be here with all of them and a newborn.”
She paused for a few seconds as if trying to hold back her tears and blinked her eyes while looking away from me, pretending to study the frozen waffle selection. I knew she was trying to come up with a proper response to say, but instead came out was the one sentence that every mother I know uses every single day. The one sentence we use to sum up everything we really want to say. She simply looked at me and said, “I’m tired.”
I knew what she meant, and it wasn’t merely about the she was tired from not sleeping well the night before.
It meant she was full-blown, 100%, super-sized to the utmost magnitude and degree tired — in every single aspect of her current life. Oh, she couldn’t know how well I understood that.
The thing is, when the mother say “I’m tired” to her spouse, her friends, a passing stranger, a neighbor, her doctors, even her own mother, she is saying so much more than that.
“I’m tired” means the weight of being the sole caretaker to small children day and night can be completely soul-crushing.
“I’m tired” means there are moments she thinks she couldn’t stand it any seconds more.
“I’m tired” means she never thought it would all be this hard.
“I’m tired” means not only was she not getting sleep, but she also didn’t know when she would ever again. When?
“I’m tired” means if she had to cut the crusts off one more PB&J sandwich, she might as well stab her hand instead.
“I’m tired” means she didn’t want sex. And it wasn’t because I didn’t love the act or her husband, it was just because her fatigued mind wasn’t turned off enough for it to actually be turned on.
“I’m tired” means she didn’t have the mind to do small talk with anyone. Not in the grocery store, not the playground, not a PTA meeting, not a waiting room, or anywhere else with other exhausted people.
“I’m tired” means please stop telling here she would miss this one day. It might be true, someday, but not right now. It doesn’t help at all.
“I’m tired” means she was grieving her old body, attitude, personality, free time, solitude, and many other things before, that were long gone, and it shall take a while for her to adjust to it.
“I’m tired” means she was wondering whether if she would ever feel like herself again, or would this state of exhaustion shall stay forever.
“I’m tired” simply means what it meant. She. Was. Tired. She cannot do so many regular adult things right now, ironically because she was the adult now. The mother. The martyr. The one who needs to have her shit together cannot actually anything right now.
I gently pat that strange mom in the grocery store on her shoulder. I didn’t tell her things would get better, or how blessed she was, or that she will miss this one day. No. Instead, I gave her a smile, and looking straight into her weary eyes, smiled softly, nodded, and said, “I understand.”
And then she smiled back.
Sometimes to know that we’re not alone was everything all of us “I’m tired” moms needed.
The realization that there is an entire legion of physically, emotionally, and mentally tired moms out there would bring a sense of both fraternity and relief. For no one else knew better than us what was really behind the “I’m tired” answer, and together, God willing, it shall not be our answer forever.
A mom is facing serious backlash after she wrote into an advice column and asked if she should consider giving up her only son for her boyfriend. Keep reading to learn more!
A mom is being slammed by parents around the world after she confessed that she fully plans on giving up her son once she gets married.
As The Sun reports, the mother, who goes by “Feeling Stuck,” wrote into the Dear Wendy column to ask for some advice regarding her predicament.
“I’m a 30-year-old divorcee with a son. I have joint custody with my ex-husband. My boyfriend, who is also divorced, has a daughter who is under the sole custody of his ex-wife. I only get to spend time with my son on alternate weekends and my boyfriend doesn’t see his daughter at all,” the woman begins.
The woman has reportedly been waiting for her boyfriend to propose for quite some time, so when he finally did, she was over the moon.
There’s just one catch: She must give up her son…
credit: Flickr
“My boyfriend already proposed to me, but, one month after proposing, he wants me to give up seeing my son,” the mom revealed.
As it turns out, Feeling Stuck’s greatest concern in giving up her only child involves her ailing parents, who absolutely adore their grandson.
“I did tell him that my parents want to spend time with my son too and they can only do that on the alternate weekends I see him. He told me that he wants to go overseas to work and meanwhile I can use this period to think about whether I want to give up my son for him,” she writes.
Shockingly enough, the mom is considering her fiancé’s offer and is even thinking about going through with a trial run.
“I have thought of giving up my son after we married, but how am I supposed to answer to my parents? My mother has depression and my father has cancer. I don’t want them to be sad knowing that they will lose a grandson,” the woman continues.
According to the mom, it has been apparent from the beginning that she would one day have to choose between her son and her boyfriend.
Flickr
“My boyfriend told me when we started dating that he could not accept my son, and I know not all men can. I’m actually prepared to give up my son after marriage, but my boyfriend wants me to do it right now. I want to be with my boyfriend and yet I can’t bear to let my parents feel sad because of their illnesses. I also have a mother’s guilt in me because my son loves me so much. What should I do?” she concluded.
Unsurprisingly, Dear Wendy, as well as hundreds of other commenters on social media, were horrified that a mother would consider going through with such a horrifying plan.
“Shame on you. Are you so lonely and so desperate for a husband that you would cast away your own child? Apparently so. Please, please get yourself to therapy and figure out what the fuck is wrong with you that you would behave in such an appalling, disgraceful way. I’m not even touching on your parents. That you would use them and their illnesses as the main reason to maybe keep seeing your son occasionally speaks volumes. Get help,” Dear Wendy responded, in part.