A new study has surprised the researchers by uncovering that it is parents with four or more kids who are happiest. Bet you’re thinking the perfect number is two, or maybe even none. Nope, you’re way off. Rebel chats to some big-family matriarchs to see if this is really the case.
Parents With Four Or More Kids Are The Happiest, According To Research
Dr. Bronwyn Harman, of the psychology and social science school at Edith Cowan University, spent five years studying what types of families are the happiest, and the results surprised even her.
The happiest parents are – “drumroll, please” – parents with four or more children. Weird, isn’t it? Let’s look at why having more kids make you happier?
It is pointed out by the research that the efforts spent into growing the family directly related to parental happiness.
Dr. Harman said “[The parents] usually say they always wanted a large family, it was planned that way, and it was a lifestyle they’d chosen”.
The findings are based on resilience, social support, self-esteem and life satisfaction. Knowing a couple of families with a truckload of kids, like me, I can see how things work out.
– Resilience: There is simply no time for pandering to silliness when there are so many kids to wrangle;
– Social support: Strength in numbers, when you have a large family, you also have yourselves a mini-community;
– Self-esteem: There is a certain self-esteem coming from kids with large families. It could be the fact that they are brave enough to try new things, because they would get left behind if they don’t.
Having those three things functioning well in your everyday life provides the life satisfaction without too much effort, really. Five kids is a winning number for the Harbord family.
Heidi and Paul have five gorgeous children and would not change a thing.
“Yep, I would believe that research, damn straight we are happy.” Heidi stated. “We are each other’s entertainment, honestly, there is never a dull moment!”
Heidi and Paul are a parenting team to be reckoned with, and good friend of mine, and they are nailing this gig. The parents are happy, kids are happy and the happiness fills the air Ranch Harbord.
The foundation of their success as a family is simply love and respect. Heidi and Paul adore each other, trusting each other and have each other’s backs – and the kids know and feel it, too. It’s a beautiful thing everyone the family respects each other, the children have each other’s backs in the same way their parents do.
Of course, life with five kids may go wild sometimes – but Heidi and Paul embrace that wildness and only tame it when it is required.
“You have to pick your battles, the kids know there are boundaries, and of course they push, but we can’t nag about every little thing or we’d be nagging all day.” Heidi explained. ” When you have so many kids, you just have to get on with things.”
She further explained “Being so busy means there is simply no time to sweat the small stuff, and when you aren’t worrying about small insignificant stuff, of course it makes sense that you’ll be happier”.
As for the kids “There is also no time to indulge the nonsense,” said Heidi. And I completely understand what she was saying – the Harbord children are amazingly resilient. Their kind of confidence can only come from being brave enough to try everything. And they do – even the youngest don’t let their age or size limit them, you can bet that they are riding horses, motorbikes, climbing, holding snakes … if everyone else is doing the same!
“If you don’t keep up you get left behind,” Heidi explained.
Are there any downsides? Things must not be good all of the time, right?
“The price!” Heidi pointed out. “Indulging in fun things like going to theme parks, travelling, eating out, etc., it gets pretty costly when you have so many bums on seats”.
Another beautiful mamma of five, Mary Gorgens, agrees. “Financially it can be tough, but we live a lifestyle that affords us having a larger family. Not over indulgent or fancy but still able to give them their needs and wants when we can afford it” She said, “We have a mortgage and all the bills, etc. but we live happily with what we have and the kids know no different”.
She continued “Time pressures are probably the other thing. Sometimes you feel like you may not be giving them all equal attention but we try to fit in one-on-one time with each of them at different times. There’s a happiness in knowing that they seem to get this is our life and love it because it’s their home and happy place. And have each other.”
Dr Harman’s research showed that although there might be more chaos and expenses in larger families in comparison to smaller ones, things are balanced by the amount of joy received from having more children.
So what is the secret behind all this?
Mary says that consistency is the key for keeping the wheels turning at their place.
She said “Each family probably has their own ways and we always joke we do things differently to a lot of others”.
“We kind of beat to our own drum. But it works for us. Simon and I both try to be on the same page and help each other to get through each day with our sanity somewhat still in check. Sometimes it goes to hell but I think no matter what, the kids just want to know they are loved and protected, so even if things didn’t go perfectly well that day, they go to bed knowing all is well and we try again tomorrow.”
One of the things that I looked forward to most as a mom-to-be was seeing my baby’s footprints on his birth certificate. As it is rarely that you are asked to ink and stamp your foot any time for the rest of your life, it’s a real newborn thing.
Having A Rainbow Baby? Don’t Miss This Footprint Keepsake Idea
My firstborn son’s footprints turned out great, but when my second son got his done, one of his little toes didn’t make it on the page. A note had to be made declaring that all five of his digits were, in fact, present.
But as excited as I was getting my kids’ official footprints inked, somehow it has never occurred to me just how tiny their feet were as infants to make a more careful keepsake. Naturally, I squeed a little bit stumbling upon these pictures from birth photographer Leilani Rogers.
She wrote in a Facebook post: “Hallelujah for rainbow babies (and fun stamp pads for their birth certificates).” Isn’t that an adorable, vibrant way to celebrate the arrival of a little one for a family that’s been through loss?
One of Leilani’s followers commented: “Awww! That’s so precious! I didn’t know they do this! One just has to request it?”, wanting to know more.
While you can expect a hospital to make the official black ink footprints, you’ll need to prepare these rainbow ones yourself.
Leilani further explained that her “clients buy the stamp pad and bring it with them to the birth.” This idea is now being shared by many who are expecting little miracles on the way, so that they can plan ahead and create this keepsake as well.
My husband went on to have our boys’ footprint tattooed onto his shoulders. I love seeing those tiny feet as a reminder of how much grown they are, and imagining colorful feet tattoos would look amazing as well!