Patton Oswalt was using comedy to open up about the one single moment that had changed his life forever.
NEWS: Patton Oswalt: ‘The Worst Day of My Life Was When I Had to Tell My Daughter’ About Her Mother’s Death
In his new Netflix special, Patton Oswalt: Annihilation, the actor and comedian goes into detail about the aftermath of the sudden death of his dearest wife Michelle McNamara, and how he informed their daughter, Alice, and how he continues to fight on through grief.
“Just over a year, I became a widower and I have, I’m moving along as best I can,” shared Oswalt, 48. “I can get up and I can do my job and I can be a dad but the wound is there. It is healing. It’s not shut yet …”
“Also, there’s no sense to it,” he later added. “My wife was a true crime writer and researcher and the phrase she hated the most was, ‘Everything happens for a reason.’ She would say, ‘No it f—— doesn’t. It’s chaos. It’s all random, it’s horrifying and if you want to try and reduce the horror and reduce the chaos, be kind that’s all you can do.’ ”
McNamara, a crime writer, passed away suddenly in her sleep in April 2016 at age 46.
“We learned today the combination of drugs in Michelle’s system, along with a condition we were unaware of, proved lethal,” Oswalt wrote in a statement to the Associated Press in February.
Though losing his spouse was beyond painful, Oswalt said the aftermath was more difficult.
“The second worst day of my life was the day that my wife passed away, that was the second worst day of my life,” he said. “The worst day of my life was the day after when I had to tell our daughter. My wife passed away while she was at school. In between screaming and vomiting and freaking out, I talked to the school and told them what happened and what to do and the principle talked to me and she was amazing and said, ‘She can’t come home from school and then you tell her and then she has to go to bed. You can’t send her off into sleep and that trauma just hit her. Tomorrow is Friday. Keep her out of school, have a fun daddy/daughter morning and then at noon tell her and be there with her while she works through it.’ ”
Adding, “It’s going to be horrible but just be there.’ She added, ‘Tell her in the sunshine.’ That’s how she put it. We did it — in the morning we went and had fun and I sat down with my daughter. I looked at my daughter and destroyed her world. I had to look at this little girl that was everything to me and took everything from her. That’s going to be longer for me to recover from than my wife passing away.”
With support from family and friends, Oswalt and Alice continued to work through the pain, taking it day by day.
“We got through the summer which was its own nightmare. And then first day of first grade which I had to do alone. Normally my wife would go online and fill out the forms and I somehow did it and I’m walking her up to first grade. As I’m walking her up to first grade, I can’t believe there’s lunch in her lunch box, she has her backpack. I got her new clothes like, ‘Okay, maybe I can do this.’ ”
“But it also hit me as I’m walking her up, I had not visited my wife’s grave since the funeral. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t bear to go there. I was like, you know what, I’m going to go visit Michelle’s grave and I’m going to sit and talk with her and I’m going to say, ‘This world need not concern you anymore. I’ve got it. You go do what you have to do. You’re not gone because I see so much of you in Alice and I want to keep that healthy and happy and growing. That’s my job now.’ ”
On the one-year anniversary of her death, Oswalt honored his late wife with a lengthy Facebook post — expressing a combination of grief, gratitude and perseverance.
“It’s awful, but it’s not fatal,” wrote Oswalt, who was now raising daughter Alice as a single father. “That’s the dispatch I’m sending back from exactly one year into this shadow-slog.”
He went on to say that he took off his wedding ring and placed it in a box of keepsakes. “I couldn’t bear removing it since April 21st, 2016,” he wrote. “But now it felt obscene. That anonymous poem about the man mourning his dead lover for a year and a day, for craving a kiss from her ‘clay cold lips.’ I was inviting more darkness. Removing the ring was removing the last symbol of denial of who I was now, and what my life is, and what my responsibilities are. But it’s not fatal.”
Now, Oswalt is getting ready to walk down the aisle with his fiancée, Meredith Salenger.
The couple went public with their budding romance in June at the Los Angeles premiere of the movie Baby Driver.
A source close to the couple previously told PEOPLE, “it’s new and they’re very happy.”
“They met through mutual friend Martha Plimpton,” the insider mentioned. “They started chatting as friends and it blossomed from there.”
She then gave the boy a hug and kiss.
Viral: Bride Starts Reciting Vows at Ceremony. But Then Marine’s 4-Year-Old Son Breaks Down Sobbing
When Emily Leehan got married to Josh Newville, she already knew his 4-year-old son was part of the deal. In her time dating Josh, she had stepped into the role of a “bonus parent” for his son.
It made sense, then, that she delivered her wedding vows specifically to the boy that would be a huge part of her life. Her words left everyone in tears. A few sentences in, Josh’s son started sobbing. His emotions overwhelmed him as Emily spoke words of truth and love. In the midst of his tears, he reached out to hug her. The guests let out a loud audible “aww!”
Josh tried to get his son to calm down, but hugging Emily turned into hugging dad. This caused Emily and Josh to chuckle. The little boy’s tears were out of joy for the new additional member to the family. He simply couldn’t stop crying the entire time.
“I may not have given you the gift of life, but life surely gave me the gift of you,” Emily finished her vows. She then gave the boy a hug and kiss. His tears continued to flow even when his dad prompted him to go to his uncle. He was an adorable waterfall of emotion!
The video is going viral for its touching message. Step-parents can have a profound and positive impact on young children. John is a staff sergeant for the U.S. Marines and Emily is in the Air Force. This little boy has some excellent heroes to look up to.
Their wedding was absolutely beautiful and now this video serves as a reminder of the love of their new family. We hereby wish the newlyweds all the best!