I wasn’t quite sure how to react when I read about this.
Kristen Hewitt, a Miami mom and sports broadcast reporter, admitted on Facebook that she opted out of her daughter’s honor roll assembly so that she could work out.
At first my reaction was: “How selfish.”
As a kind of newbie mom, I’m very much in the “don’t-want-to-miss-a-single-moment” frame of mind with my kids. I honestly can’t imagine a world in which I’d choose to miss one of their special events.
Thankfully, I read on to better understand Kristen’s reasoning. And I’m glad I did.
“I started to feel the guilt creep in as I made this tough decision, but then I remembered me, and how hard Thanksgiving and the week that followed was with my husband traveling. How hard it was to deal with the tantrums that were never-ending. How hard it was to feel 100s of hot flashes as I am transitioning to a new healing protocol. How hard it was to manage my anxiety, the house, the kids, the pets, and work. And how hard it’s been to not have one single minute to myself.”
I could actually feel the guilt, the anxiety, the lack of minutes which Kristen was referring to.
She continued, explaining that she talked to her daughter about “how proud I was of her, but let her know I have to work a game tonight and needed to take care of myself this morning.”
Kristen also noted that her child’s dad and grandmother would be attending in her place.
“Guess what,” Kristen said. “She understood, gave me a hug, and thanked me for all I do for her.”
“Sometimes as parents we have to make hard decisions and show up for ourselves instead of showing up for our kids.”
Kristen’s daughter also learned a valuable lesson from her mom, by example, that self-care matters.
Taking good care of ones self is something that I of do plan to teach my kids, but reading Kristens story made me realise that in order for me to teach them – I actually need to practice what I preach.
From now on, if I ever find myself judging a mother for choosing herself over her family — like several commentors actually did on Facebook, I’ll do my very best to remember what Kristen wrote:
One mom wrote: “becoming a mother means sacrificing personal care to support our young children’s achievements,” wrote one woman)
“Sometimes as parents we have to make hard decisions and show up for ourselves instead of showing up for our kids. And you know what? It’s not selfish – it’s called self-love.” Says Kristen.
