Molly England, mother of three has admitted that she regrets becoming a stay-at-home mom.
Molly is the founder of Bluebonnet Babies and a contributing writer to many parenting websites including The Washington Post, HuffPost Parents, Scary Mommy, Pregnancy & Newborn Magazine, Red Tricycle, and many more.
Before motherhood took over her life, Molly was a social worker providing health care, housing and resources to chronically ill homeless people who she says deserved basic human rights at the very least.
Image via Bluebonnet Babies by Molly England Facebook
Although she personally may have left her social work behind, social injustices in general are still in the world. She now feels a hunger inside her, a hunger to work. “I want to help repair a world that each day seems more and more irreparable.”
Next year, all three of Molly’s children will be in school, leaving her with a little bit more free time than she has now. In a post for HuffPost, Molly says that people have asked her “What will you do with all of your time?” Her answer is very honest as she says “Laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, going for a run, yoga, walking the dog, checking emails, making phone calls, paying bills, meeting friends for coffee, writing, breathing, peeing, pooping, sitting, standing—and all without being interrupted.”
Image via Bluebonnet Babies by Molly England Facebook
She says she may do all of those things, but it may not be enough, especially since her hunger for work and to help others is taking over her thoughts. Molly has been a stay-at-home parent for eight years and says that there is a part of her now “the part that existed before I bore three humans from my womb” that wants a change and to work outside of home.
Molly has spent the best part of a decade looking after her children and while there is absolutely nothing wrong with that she said “I want to contribute to society beyond rearing decent humans.” Thus she is now thinking about her own future and what will happen when all her kids have fled the nest. “If I don’t start reclaiming myself soon, I think I may be lost forever,” she writes.
Molly admires three of her closest friends who all went back to work after the standard period of maternity leave, while she “landed face first in a sea of motherhood”. She says “I admire their convictions about being working moms. They seem to know what they want. They seem to know what they need.”
Image via Bluebonnet Babies by Molly England Facebook
She believes that when she looks in the mirror all she sees is a disheveled and exhausted woman staring back at her. She feels like she has lost her spark and flair. Although she believes it’s off-limits to admit regret, she does feel some regret for not staying in the working world.
She explains “If I had, I don’t think I’d be so terrified to re-immerse myself into that world. Facing my fears lead me to motherhood, and facing my fears today will lead me to work outside the home. But that doesn’t mean I stop being a mom. I will navigate this new challenge like all past challenges—with messy and emotional determination—and an immense amount of love for my family and myself.
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