There are many things which come with the territory of being a mom. Many of us struggle with sleep deprivation, body image, feeling like we know what we are doing with feeding or a diaper.
And it takes a long time to find that groove where you can at least fake like you know what you are doing.
Babies come with a lot of responsibilities and if you have never held a child before or changed a diaper, new parenthood can come as even more of a shock.
Relying on those around to who help you feel like you’re not losing who you were, before you were mom, can do wonders for your mental health.
Taking care of that side of your needs is just as important. This is why being able to go out and see friends, even if you have to take your child with you, is a positive thing.
Babies are relatively travel-friendly – as long as you have your diaper bag with a change of clothes, diapers, wipes, a small changing mat and some milk, you’re good to go.
It can be difficult to understand or wrap your head around a life with babies if you don’t have children.
A woman found herself shocked by a friend of hers who was a mom to a young toddler.
She posted her concerns about the Mother on a popular forum shaming the mom and well, people had concerns about it.
According to CafeMom, a woman posted to the popular forum Netmums asking for advice after a friend of hers visited with her new baby.
She starts off with a disclaimers, so you know it’s probably going to be good.
“Disclaimer/background: I don’t have children, I don’t particularly like other people’s children, or the fact they impact my life more than i feel they should given i didn’t choose to have them,” she starts off her post. She continues,
“I keep these views relatively private and am obviously happy enough to accommodate friends kids around, and have a fairly liberal view of the world in terms of rearing them (or at least other people rearing them – I don’t pretend to have much right to argue how this should be done given the above, essentially if it doesn’t impact me – go for it”
The woman then goes into detail saying a friend of hers from university was over at her house, catching up since it had been a little while since they had seen each other. And her friend is a new Mother and brought her toddler along.
“Mid-pleasant catch-up it’s apparent 19 month old needs nappy changing and it’s definitely solids,” she writes. “Friend proceeds not to break conversation but whip out a very small changing mat and some wipes etc, lay it all on the carpet and introduce fresh faecal matter into my front room.”
At the time, she didn’t say anything to her friend, but she was obviously not happy.
She said she and another friend who was over were repulsed by the smell of poo, and said that the cookie she was eating even smelled like it.
The original poster continues saying that she’s not squeamish around bodily functions, she works in health care, and is supportive of other areas of parenting.
“I am very supportive of breast feeding in public etc, that just hasn’t got any argument against it, why should anyone be made to eat their lunch in a toilet, but in the same vein – why is it acceptable to change a nappy in a living room rather than a perfectly well equipped bathroom or even ANY other room that we are not drinking tea in?” she questions.
People didn’t hold back their answers and comments to this woman’s question asking if she was being unreasonable for feeling this way.
One person commented saying that it was probably not a cool thing for the friend to do, but some moms don’t really think of it.
“As a mum I would never do this without asking the person there where to change the baby, some friends say go ahead and change it there, others will direct me to where I can change them,” she replies. “So I don’t blame you for not being happy about changing a dirty nappy in your living room.”
She suggests, “Perhaps next time if she goes to change a nappy in your house, say something like ‘oh, I’ll show you where you can change her’. Hopefully that will make her think a bit more in future”
Another person chimes in and says, “I would change my child’s nappy without actually thinking about it. Throw her over my knee and away we go. It’s just automatic. Maybe your friend done it without thinking?”
And another forum user says that she was once that Mother who didn’t give it a second thought.
“I’ve been that friend. Almost all my mates have little ones by now and we all just change wherever we are, no drama,” another user admitted. “However I went to a pal’s house who didn’t, started to change my baby on the floor in the living room without even stopping conversation. Didn’t even think about what I was doing, it was just automatic. She didn’t say anything to me at the time but I overheard her telling her bf how disgusting it was later. And I realized, yeah fair enough actually if that’s not your life! So now I always ask, but it took me overhearing that to actually think about it.
Another person confessed to doing the same as well.
“Ok I’m the rude friend that just changes my baby’a bum 
“I never thought about it been “offensive” to anyone, I mean would you want to sit in your own s**t for longer than necessary? But now I’ve seen people can get hung up on some babies poo I’ll make a point of asking. I feel like I should be messaging my non mum friends apologising if I have ever done this lol”