None of us are perfect parents who have never had a moment of anger. If any parent were to say that he or she was never angry at one of his or her kids, I would call that person a liar. Parents get stressed and lose patience just like anyone else. The difference here though is that as parents, we are in charge of little precious hearts and lives.
These little ones look to us to understand how to view the world, navigate the world, and present our emotions to the world. If we as parents don’t know how to handle our anger, how will we then teach our children how to manage their anger?
Children learn by watching. Make sure your kids are seeing you manage your anger in a healthy way that they can then use and adapt for themselves. It doesn’t matter if you tell them to take deep breaths if you cannot do the same when you are upset yourself. Here are ways you can manage your anger when you are ready to explode all the way into another zip code.
1- Ask for a Time Out
Ask your child to remove yourself for a few minutes until you calm down. You screaming, yelling or getting irritable won’t help your child listen to your message better or more effectively. It’s actually the other way around. The second you yell at anyone, the person tunes out, becomes defensive or afraid. This means the person doesn’t hear your message. It’s ok to walk away. Would you rather your child do that in the case of a bad situation? Walk away?
2- Go For a Walk or Run
If you have the kids to yourself, ( as a single parent, I understand) take them with you and go for a walk or run for a while. If you can go alone, even better, but deciding to not talk or take action but instead, cool down first, is a smart move for you and a good habit for your children to get into as well.
3- Acknowledge It
Tell your children point blank, “I’m feeling angry right now. Very, very angry and I don’t want to talk or make a decision until I cool down.” Teaching your kids to verbalize their feelings is a great way to raise healthy and happy kids. But first of course, you need to be able to do it yourself.
Most of us get angry from time to time but if you feel as if you are constantly angry and irritated, you should strongly consider counseling for your own good and for your kids!