Are you the parent of a teenage girl? Congratulations! You have made it this far. The good news is your teen is learning how to negotiate with others and identify herself at rapid speed. The bad news is sometimes this may cause for conflict between you and your teen. That’s okay though: you will survive! Even if you have the best teenage girl around and you just might (teenage girls are wicked fun, smart and savvy about their worlds), every teenage girl needs these three things from their parents.
Teenage Girls: Show Them Their Value
Your teenage girl may be moody or uncertain because of the social and physiological changes happening within her. There’s not much she can do about all the different emotions she might feel as she passes from childhood through tweenhood, into teenhood, but there is something you can do.
-Value her emotions, even if sometimes they seem well, ridiculous. Listen to her and ask her to extrapolate on her feelings without saying anything until she is done talking.
-Ask her about her friends, even the ones you don’t like– but not to pry, simply to ask what they like to do or to tell you why she likes them so much.
-If she devalues herself, shows self-hatred or makes bad choices, explain to her all the things you find special in her and how devaluing herself can lead to later trouble in life.
Teenage Girls: Set Boundaries & Stick to Them
Show your teenager you love her but setting boundaries and sticking to them, even if every other parent is doing the opposite. When children and teens have no boundaries with their parents, they then go out into the world and cannot form boundaries with others. This is troublesome on so many levels. Without boundaries your teenage girl may:
- form inappropriate sexual and emotional relationships with love partners
- have a hard time saying no to drugs and alcohol
- may not know how to assert herself in the professional world as a student and worker (when she’s of working age)
The list goes on.
If you love your daughter, show her that you value her enough to stick to your word.
Teenage Girls: Female Role Models Outside of Her Mother
Mom is everything but she cannot be everything, if you know what I mean? Your teenager needs to see other strong and positive adult female role models in action. This could be an aunt or a neighbor. A teacher. A coach. It’s up to you as the mother to gently nurture and support these relationships and if your daughter has no potential role models other than you Mom, I recommend you go out and find someone for her.
The more diversity and leadership your daughter witnesses in other women, the more empowered she will feel because she will know it is capable to be a positive and successful women, who doesn’t cater to peers.