Being a single parent is the hardest but most rewarding job I have ever had, hands down! It often feels as if I am facing an insurmountable task: statistics tend to paint single parenthood and divorce as well, as “doom and gloom” for kids and parents. I took a stab the other day simply reading a few articles that discussed how single parenthood (even when a single parent is educated and with a good job) can create an environment that’s not as positive for kids as those coming from homes with two parents, and I was pissed!
How dare the world paint my life, and other single parent’s, as impossibly negative? Statistics can be turned any which way as far as I am concerned, and even if the odds are stacked against me and my daughter as a single parent, I will be damned if I let our lives become some harrowing statistic.
To me, life is 50% attitude and 50% hard work.
If I have the right attitude as a parent and I work not hard, but smartly, both my daughter and me will be just fine.
There are of course, a few things a single parent does need to succeed. Here are my list of absolute “musts” as a single parent.
4 Things A Single Parent Needs to Succeed:
1- A Team
You need people who will support both you and your child/children. Who belongs in this team?
Firstly: people who are positive and can offer help, whether it’s emotional support or childcare.
Consider:
- teachers and staff at your child’s school
- spiritual advisers and/or counselors
- therapists
- friends
- neighbors
- family
Ask you “team members’ what they’re willing to do for you and your child and then, offer your support in return. Can a friend trade babysitting services with you? Can a neighbor help be a reference for a new job?
2- The Ability to Ask For Help
If you cannot ask for help, you will fail as a single parent from burnout. Asking for help is one of the hardest things to do, ever.
Learn the art well and when you ask, show gratitude and be sure to return the favor.
3-Rest
Do not scrimp on sleep. I know you’re laughing at me. Instead of doing X,Y or Z each night, set it aside for the next day. Trust me, we will all leave this earth with a to-do list. Make sure you are as rested as possible. It’s very hard to move on day-to-day, without rest, and care for children alone.
4-Self-Care Skills
Every single parent (and person in general!) needs a hobby and vital self-care skills. You need to be able to turn “life” off and regenerate.
Whether it’s:
- running
- yoga
- reading a book
- once a week meetup with friends
- building model cars
- going to the beach
- making your own beer
- therapy
- knitting
Or what have you, you need to have tools in your “life kit” to care for yourself when you are feeling depleted, which can happen often as a single parent.
Being a single parent isn’t always easy but neither is life. Make your world and your child’s world happy and bright by caring for yourself so that way, you can be the very best parent you can be!