Do you know that feeling that creeps up inside of you when your child is about to get on your single last nerve? This is a normal feeling for any parent however, it’s key to get ourselves calm and cool so that way our children understand by our example, how to manage their own stress loads and emotions. To me, I try to stay focused on positive parenting–using redirection and praise as discipline methods. Remembering to use positive parenting strategies when you’re about ready to pack your bags and run away, is easier said than done.
Here are some quick and easy tips to use before you turn into “Mean Mom” or “Mean Dad.”
Tips for Keeping Your Cool
1- Walk Away
Now I’m not suggesting you leave your child unattended in the middle of the mall, but what I am saying is telling your child “Daddy needs to step to the side ” (if out in public) or “Daddy needs to take a time out,” (if home or somewhere safe) in order for you to take a few minutes to take deep breaths. Think about how you feel when you’re arguing with your spouse or a friend. Are you at your best? Does anyone truly listen to the other person when he or she is yelling? Nope! So when you feel ready to turn blue, step away.
Note: Do NOT tell your child “I need you to go away,” or other negative language. We have all been there before, yes, but phrase this as you-focused. That you need the break.
2-Is it Worth the Fight?
Ask yourself: is this worth arguing over? Can I let it slide? Is this worth my energy? The other day my daughter wanted to bring ALL of her dolls to dinner with us. Did it cramp the table? Yes, but she ate happily and if she got potatoes on her doll, that was her choice to make. Not worth my time fighting it.
3- Disengage
When your child is “blowing a gasket,” it’s best for you to step away and ignore his or her tantrum. You won’t reason with a bomb, will you? Wait until your child has gotten him or herself calm to deliver discipline and talk about what just happened.
Parenting isn’t for the faint at heart but the good news is if you learn from your parenting mistakes, you can make a better choice the next time. The fact is we learn from our kids as much as they learn from us.
