Whether you are aware of it or not, your child or teen may identify as LGBT, which stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender. Hopefully though, you knew that already. In today’s day and age, more teens are coming out to their parents, trusted adults, friends and family than in previous generations. Still, children or teens who identify as LGBT may have some very real fears and as a parent, understanding these anxieties are crucial to supporting your child. As the saying goes, “Parent the child you have– not the one you want.” Whether you agree with the lifestyle or not, consider how your child absorbs your approval…or disapproval.
LGBT: The Fears of an LGBT Child or Teen Are Real
1. Your Approval
Even if your LGBT teen or child suspects you will still love and approve of him/her despite his or her identity, your child may fear that your love may change or alter. Even in our modern day society, there are many people who don’t approve of the LGBT lifestyle and so your child may be afraid to tell you. Even if you are aware of your child’s sexual orientation, your kid may be reluctant to share his or her experiences as an LGBT individual for fear of upsetting you. Keep in mind how hard it may be for your child to be honest with you.
2. Peers
Bullying is very real for children and teens of all races, classes, gender and orientation, but your LGBT teen may be even more susceptible to bullying, internet harassment and then some. According to the CDC, “Students who were questioning their sexual orientation reported more bullying, homophobic victimization, unexcused absences from school, drug use, feelings of depression, and suicidal behaviors than either heterosexual or LGB students.” And that’s just children who were questioning and perhaps, not fully “out” in public.
Your LGBT child may be concerned about peer opinions and also, struggling to date and understand romantic relationships. Your teen may be having a tougher time forming an identity out in the world. Being a touchstone of support and unconditional love can make the difference.
3. Self-Acceptance
Some children or teens may be very confident and sure of their orientation whereas others may feel confused, afraid and unhappy with negotiating their sexual identity out in the world. This is where you as the parent need to be the bridge between your child and the world. If your teen is struggling, get him or her counseling with a professional who is aware and sensitive to LGBT issues. Talk to your teen honestly about how he or she is feeling, and see if you can connect your child to an adult in the LGBT community in order to give some wisdom and guidance in a way you may not be able to.