Quora posed the question “What is the downside of not making your child do chores” to parents and the response by Ranjini Shankar, a working mom of a two year old, perfectly summed up the negative effects of not letting your child get his hands dirty.
Shankar shared her personal experience where in her household growing up, she was never expected to lift a finger. Until she went to college she never ever done simple chores such as doing the dishes, laundry, made up her own bed or even cooked a meal!
Due to this so-called luxury (or so she thought), college was certainly a rude awakening for her. She stated
All of a sudden I had roommates yelling at me about being a slob, laundry piled up, dirty dishes stinking up the whole apartment and no idea what I was doing wrong. Sharing a room with me was miserable for my first roommate with my clothes strewn all over the place and unwashed bowls and cups everywhere. I cringe just remembering how ignorant I was. It was a harsh and steep learning curve for me to realize I was now responsible for everything I did and I didn’t have mom and dad to help. I really wish I had been prepared before.
Because she only started doing chores at the age of 18, chores are almost intolerable for her today at the age of 27. As a wife and mother, she knows the running of the household is her baby but she cant help but feel that her time would be better spent elsewhere. She sincerely wishes that her parents had made chores a part of her life earlier so that it would seem routine at this stage in her life.
Shankar also feels uncomfortable in other peoples houses and it’s just not in her to ask the host if she can help out with anything. She says
My entire childhood consisted of me sitting in the kitchen talking to my parents while they ran around and did everything and it takes a good deal of conscious effort even today for me to not do that when I go to someone else’s place. I am sure I have come across as rude or unhelpful many times in my life and have had to work very hard to move past my ignorance.
Her lack of experience in the chore department has also made her extremely conscious of how she raises her son. As little as her child is, she tries to involve him with some household chores. Cleaning up after himself, helping out with the laundry and vacuuming are some of the things she’s getting him into the habit of doing.
Shankar understands that her parents done practically everything for her out of pure love and the want for her to fully experience childhood but also realises that she’d be a far better person had she been less selfish earlier on.
She ends off her experience with a message to parents stating that children become stronger and better people by helping out at home – so even if you don’t want to share the job for your own sanity – share it for their’s!